Why do we automatically do that? Is it because we don’t agree with what is being said? Or is it we truly don’t care about what is being said and it is way to halt the conversation? Do we want to be last heard and first remembered?
I used to find myself doing that on occasion. Okay – more than on occasion. At least that is how I used to be. I have changed my thoughts process and you can too.
Allow me to share my “before and after”, as an example for you.
Here is the scenario: A friend tells me that they are getting a dog.
My internal thoughts before:
Why would they want to get a dog. It is a lot of work and will pee on the floor, poop on their shoes and cost them a lot of money. Just when they get used to and attached to the dog, it will get hit by a car and then they will be sad. Why would anyone want a dog?
You can see that I used to belong to the “Association of the Miserable”.
My new internal thoughts are:
The dog will be a lucky dog because they have a nice back yard for the dog. The dog will be able to sleep in the house with the kids. I myself would not want a dog. If I did have the perfect dog, it would be fun to take it on walks. They will enjoy taking the dog on walks, petting it and sharing it with their friends and family. The dog will give them joy in their life. Maybe they need something in their life that is always happy and forgiving. Maybe I will get their dog a “welcome home” doggy present. I always have liked going in to the dog store and now I have a real reason to shop there.
What would happen to the world, your neighborhood, school or just your family if you could change how you think? Change how you process information. It is possible, and not all that hard!
Learn this method of Focused Conversations along with ways to build consensus and action planning in the ToP Facilitation Methods 2 day class in Orlando, October 9-10, 2014. Tell someone that you know belongs to the “Association of the Miserable”. Sign up at www.ToPFlorida.org
#focusedconversation #ICA #ToPMethods
(1) The Art of Focused Conversation, Brian Stanfield, for the Canadian Institute of Cultural Affairs